I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
