Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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