It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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