his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize