i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
