All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
