I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
