Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
