I bet he comes in French.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
