it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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