Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
