if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize