Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.