There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize