The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.