Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.