I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
whose parrot is this?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?