pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
