just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
