somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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