then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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