stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize