And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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