Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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