Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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