I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
