i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
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we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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