Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
