I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
