That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
