I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
