I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
