Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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