I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
