There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
