I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
