There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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