I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
