I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
