im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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