Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
