He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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