your room smells of hookers.
And success
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
