woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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