Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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