We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
