I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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