ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
