gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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