What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize