I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
porn star boner night. come get it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
