Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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