is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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