I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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