I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
