this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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