I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
