She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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