I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
