Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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