I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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