Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
