You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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