why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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