She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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