Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
